flash-review #10 : Hell Ride

Wow, this movie kinda failed. Maybe it was because my expectation were too high- I mean, just look at that : Tarantino produced, starring Vinnie Jones, David Carradine and Michael Madsen, among others - but man, is this movie a blatant exemple of style over substance. The story can be summed up in one sentence, and the movie spends more time showing tits than actually moving the story - thin story, that is - forward. Okay, I get it, its an hommage to biker flicks and all, but it could've had a compelling story. Instead, its just badass. At least, the movie succeeds at that, it's pretty fucking badass. But, it stops there. Tits, bikes and guns. Okay, enough.

At least the actors were good. Its always a treat to see Michael Madsen being badass. But instead, do yourself a favor and see Reservoir Dogs.

It's messy, it tries too hard, and finally, falls short. Sad really.

flash-review #9 : Australia

Sorry guys (i'll never get tired of this, speaking as if I have readers. ha!), I know I promised this a while back but man, the last few weeks have been crazy, a shitload of homework, no time for myself, not much movie watching either. God. At least, this long weekend will make up for some of that. On Sunday, a friend and I are throwing a mini-film fest so we'll maybe watch two or 3 films. Probably rewatch Oldboy - which isn't on the List, so that will be good rewatching to do, that movie kicks asses -, maybe watch Memento again too- I love this movie so much, I can't even start to explain - and man, I need to see David Fincher's The Game. Anyways, this weekend is way more smooth so I'll watch movies! Surprised? I'd also like to finish Pushing Daisies First Season and start Alias Season 3 sometime soon. Wow, so much with my watchlist. Lets get to the actual reviewing.

Australia, Baz Luhrmann's 4th movie. I really didn't know this filmmaker at all, I mean, he's famous for Moulin Rouge! - which I really want to see -, but really, I just heard he had an amazing visual style. So that kept me from comparing with his other films, which I guess is a good thing.

(Man I just realised how much I overuse the word "which", its terrible, really. I'm sorry, I really am. My english vocabular falls short a bit, but I'm trying!)

So, with Australia. At first, I was kinda surprised by the tone of the movie. I didn't expect it to be comedic at all, just good ol' drama. But it really tried to be funny - succeeding sometimes, failing at others. The comedic tone really helps dealing with the cheesy stuff - because there's plenty. Although it might annoy some persons, it didn't bother me so much. All things considered, its the kind of movie you just sit back and enjoy and laugh with, not at.

This films has some flaws though. It really tries to be a lot. Its actually near 3 hours long and it's not that it's boring or anything, it really isn't, but the balance isn't quite there. It feels as if some things were cut to make the running time more convenient. Take per exemple : the movie starts off as a western. It's light, it's fun, it's epic, it's beautiful (beautiful is really the word. The cinematography is beyond words.) and all. So when you actually get to the romance, you've already forgot about its supposed to be a romance film and it just seems rushed. The pace is nice and thats the problem : it actually slows down when the romance element is introduced and I don't think it should have. Thinking about it, you can really feel that Mr. Luhrmann tried to make this his big epic magnum opus or something, but it just did not expand to its full potential. I would've like to see more romance, but I didn't, and in the end, although the movie is pretty fucking long, I felt that something was lacking something, some extra scenes. I heard somewhere there was about 6 different ending to the movie, so maybe the dvd will have extras that'll make the romance seem less rushed. I know my mom is planning on buying it, and I'm glad she does, because it really is an entertaining film with a great rewatch quality to it, but I'm just sad it has so much apparent flaws.

But then it ends with a bang. Last 40 minutes or so, it turns into a full-blast war epic. And it gets really fun and thrilling again. The ending is pretty satisfaying for that reason, and it makes you forget some of the lacking middle part.

All in all, the film isn't as bad as some critics say. Its ligh, its beautiful and its entertaining. I was hoping for more, but I was fairly entertained. The acting was great, I mean, neither Nicole Kidman or Hugh Jackman have anything to prove. So yeah. Pretty cool film, too much flaws but I have this feeling in my stomach that the director's cut will deal with a few of those.

Also, I almost forgot to mention, but this movie had to much CGI for its own good. And that really bothers me. Otherwise, a nice mother-and-son entertainment.

Double treat : #3 & 4

No screenshot for this double-review, since I saw both movies at a friend's birthday party. Two films today, Pathology and Rogue, both horror flicks. I'll start with the good stuff.

- Note : I originally posted this, but it disappeared into thin air, litteraly and I can't get my post back. Which is infuriating since I have to write it all again. This once happened, and the lost post appeared again, days later...so if it does reappear in a day or two...I'll have it twice, since I'm rewriting it now. Argh. -

So, Pathology, an horror flick that went almost unnoticed, directed by Marc Schoelermann, previously from...absolutely nothing it appears. Looks like some sort of director-on-hire or something...

It stars my biggest man-crush ever, Milo "Petrelli" Ventimiglia and I got to admit, its a sick twisted, fucked up and entertaining movie. While not being a masterpiece, the movie is fun and strange enough to keep you watching all along. What stood out the most was how great-looking it was. For a) an amazing photography and b) Milo is gorgeous - being said in a totally un-gay way, don't get me wrong. The movie was quite predictable but watching it with a bunch of friends sure was some fun time. It borrows a lot from a lot of places - from Cronenberg, Saw-like editing or even CSI (actually, talking of CSI : while watching the movie, I actually found myself thinking that the premise would make an amazing tv show, one that would be really violent and sexually explicit, but awesome like hell) - but in the end, its a fun ride, well shot, and creepy.

For some sick reason, the aesthetics of this movie really appealed to me. Which is something I really value while watching a movie. Like, yesterday, I watched Speed Racer and it almost gave me an headache. I really like when a movie is nice to actually watch, you know when there's some attention to the color of everything - yeah, Speed Racer had hell-of-a-kind special effects, but too much is still too much - or to the details, etc. A great exemple that comes to mind is Hard Candy. Ok, what was I talking about again? Yeah, Pathology is a nice medical-horror flick and if you're looking for a cool movie to rent - or you just love to see Peter Petrelli elsewhere than Heroes, go for it, its quite cool.

For lack of images, I'll put the posters. I especially love the polaroïd-skull one.

Wait, does it say "from the creators of Crank"??

The movie with Jason Statham that look horrible as shit? Hrm...now I guess I have to see it too. Crap.

Ok, now to the next one. (Seriously, rewriting is a pain in the ass. I just hope this post turns out better than the original.)

Rogue. Greg McLean's second movie. I have not seen Wolf Creek and I don't know if I should - even if I shouldn't, I'll probably get to it - just for the sake of watching every movie the unnofically called Splat Pack has made - and I mean, there's a whole bunch of movie I shouldn't have seen. For my eye's sake. Battlefield : Earth - yeah, that one - or Insecticidal - look that up on Wikipedia - yeah there's a wiki page, all-surprising it seems - and you'll tell me how good it looks... - just to name a few. For those actually wondering why Battlefield : Earth and Insecticidal are not on the list, its just because I've seen them prior to April '08. I don't exactly recall when my love for movies - especially genre movies - got serious, but April was definitely the month I decided to keep track of it. So, if I ever watch them again - WHY IN HELL WOULD I??? - the'll make the list, don't worry....anyways, my point here was that, yeah, nothing can be that bad, so I'll probably get to Wolf Creek someday...or Crank...

Now, lets get to the actuall movie. Rogue. Who doesn't love a good old Giant Killing Crocodile Slasher movie, once in a while. You expect to see some blood, nice reptilian action, sweat, giant crocodiles and all that shit that makes the genre great. A Giant Crocodile - or Reptile for all that matters - flick is always great. Except when it lacks everything mentionned above.

The movie differs from a normal low-class movie in the way it's shot. I mean, god some shots are gorgeous, but GODDAMN, its not like I want to watch Discovery Channel. The first half of the movie made me feel like I was watching "Australia, a country of Natural Wonders" if there's such a thing.
NO!

Its so damn long before anything actually happens. I'm watching Rogue, I don't give a fuck about the damn wildlife! I want to see Crocodile Killing Humans. As childish as it seems, its true. That what you expect when you rent such a movie. To be entertained. To see the giant crocodile tearing some things apart. Sure it happens, but so rarely. Even the last confrontation is long and boring. I mean, I don't blame McLean for trying to make a show less, suggest more kind of movie...ah fuck it.
I DO BLAME HIM. How can you think that you're good enough to make a GIANT KILLER CROCODILE - hear this : giant. killer. crocodile - that is actually more character driven than crocodile driven?! It doesn't work that way at all, I'm sorry!! See, in life there are some line you do not cross. There are some rule you do not break, some genres you do not fuck with, AND THE GIANT REPTILE IS ONE OF THEM. There's a limit at how much you can let down you gore-fans. So I'll just say this. To every young filmmaker out there that wants to tackle the genre : keep the guts and the blood and/or the cheesyness and sweatyness. I don't care about those fancy underwater/just over water/animal shots. During the movie, a friend of mine actually said "Hey, I feel like watching Anaconda." and we all agreed. Yeah, the Ice Cube and JLO one, no kidding.

And I mean. Look at that badass poster right here

<--- How could this be a letdown?? How????

Anyway. All it does is remind of how bad I want to see Primeval.

flash-review #2

"All you trekkies and tv addicts Don't mean to diss, don't mean to bring static. All you klingons in the fucking house, grab your backstreet friend and get loud ."

Now, I've got to admit, I'm a huge tv addict. Sucker for new shows, especially when the're sc-fi related, and/or created by J.J. Abrams and his crew.

Fringe 1x02 : Same Old Story, was, in my opinion, a much better episode than the pilot, even though it sometimes bothered me, because of some lines of dialogues, or corny stuff like that. All in all, it was like watching a really cool and improved episode of CSI. I know this is said to look a lot more like the X-Files, but I couldn't say, I must've watched like 3 episodes, something like 5 years ago, so I couldn't really remember. I'm looking forward to next week, and I'm starting to love those character - and I never thought I'd said that - especially Joshua Jackson's one. If it keeps getting better each week, I'm in for the ride.