"Movies like this make me remember I love human beings." This is about reviewing movies.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Double treat : #3 & 4

No screenshot for this double-review, since I saw both movies at a friend's birthday party. Two films today, Pathology and Rogue, both horror flicks. I'll start with the good stuff.

- Note : I originally posted this, but it disappeared into thin air, litteraly and I can't get my post back. Which is infuriating since I have to write it all again. This once happened, and the lost post appeared again, days later...so if it does reappear in a day or two...I'll have it twice, since I'm rewriting it now. Argh. -
So, Pathology, an horror flick that went almost unnoticed, directed by Marc Schoelermann, previously from...absolutely nothing it appears. Looks like some sort of director-on-hire or something...
It stars my biggest man-crush ever, Milo "Petrelli" Ventimiglia and I got to admit, its a sick twisted, fucked up and entertaining movie. While not being a masterpiece, the movie is fun and strange enough to keep you watching all along. What stood out the most was how great-looking it was. For a) an amazing photography and b) Milo is gorgeous - being said in a totally un-gay way, don't get me wrong. The movie was quite predictable but watching it with a bunch of friends sure was some fun time. It borrows a lot from a lot of places - from Cronenberg, Saw-like editing or even CSI (actually, talking of CSI : while watching the movie, I actually found myself thinking that the premise would make an amazing tv show, one that would be really violent and sexually explicit, but awesome like hell) - but in the end, its a fun ride, well shot, and creepy.
For some sick reason, the aesthetics of this movie really appealed to me. Which is something I really value while watching a movie. Like, yesterday, I watched Speed Racer and it almost gave me an headache. I really like when a movie is nice to actually watch, you know when there's some attention to the color of everything - yeah, Speed Racer had hell-of-a-kind special effects, but too much is still too much - or to the details, etc. A great exemple that comes to mind is Hard Candy. Ok, what was I talking about again? Yeah, Pathology is a nice medical-horror flick and if you're looking for a cool movie to rent - or you just love to see Peter Petrelli elsewhere than Heroes, go for it, its quite cool.
For lack of images, I'll put the posters. I especially love the polaroïd-skull one.

Wait, does it say "from the creators of Crank"??

The movie with Jason Statham that look horrible as shit? Hrm...now I guess I have to see it too. Crap.
Ok, now to the next one. (Seriously, rewriting is a pain in the ass. I just hope this post turns out better than the original.)
Rogue. Greg McLean's second movie. I have not seen Wolf Creek and I don't know if I should - even if I shouldn't, I'll probably get to it - just for the sake of watching every movie the unnofically called Splat Pack has made - and I mean, there's a whole bunch of movie I shouldn't have seen. For my eye's sake. Battlefield : Earth - yeah, that one - or Insecticidal - look that up on Wikipedia - yeah there's a wiki page, all-surprising it seems - and you'll tell me how good it looks... - just to name a few. For those actually wondering why Battlefield : Earth and Insecticidal are not on the list, its just because I've seen them prior to April '08. I don't exactly recall when my love for movies - especially genre movies - got serious, but April was definitely the month I decided to keep track of it. So, if I ever watch them again - WHY IN HELL WOULD I??? - the'll make the list, don't worry....anyways, my point here was that, yeah, nothing can be that bad, so I'll probably get to Wolf Creek someday...or Crank...
Now, lets get to the actuall movie. Rogue. Who doesn't love a good old Giant Killing Crocodile Slasher movie, once in a while. You expect to see some blood, nice reptilian action, sweat, giant crocodiles and all that shit that makes the genre great. A Giant Crocodile - or Reptile for all that matters - flick is always great. Except when it lacks everything mentionned above.
The movie differs from a normal low-class movie in the way it's shot. I mean, god some shots are gorgeous, but GODDAMN, its not like I want to watch Discovery Channel. The first half of the movie made me feel like I was watching "Australia, a country of Natural Wonders" if there's such a thing.
Its so damn long before anything actually happens. I'm watching Rogue, I don't give a fuck about the damn wildlife! I want to see Crocodile Killing Humans. As childish as it seems, its true. That what you expect when you rent such a movie. To be entertained. To see the giant crocodile tearing some things apart. Sure it happens, but so rarely. Even the last confrontation is long and boring. I mean, I don't blame McLean for trying to make a show less, suggest more kind of movie...ah fuck it.
I DO BLAME HIM. How can you think that you're good enough to make a GIANT KILLER CROCODILE - hear this : giant. killer. crocodile - that is actually more character driven than crocodile driven?! It doesn't work that way at all, I'm sorry!! See, in life there are some line you do not cross. There are some rule you do not break, some genres you do not fuck with, AND THE GIANT REPTILE IS ONE OF THEM. There's a limit at how much you can let down you gore-fans. So I'll just say this. To every young filmmaker out there that wants to tackle the genre : keep the guts and the blood and/or the cheesyness and sweatyness. I don't care about those fancy underwater/just over water/animal shots. During the movie, a friend of mine actually said "Hey, I feel like watching Anaconda." and we all agreed. Yeah, the Ice Cube and JLO one, no kidding.
And I mean. Look at that badass poster right here
<--- How could this be a letdown?? How????
Anyway. All it does is remind of how bad I want to see Primeval.

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