Phenomena

Hrm, how do I tackle this review. I saw this, wait, sunday, or monday, I'm not too sure anymore, and I have to say, I'm not too eager to get to this review, because, I'm going to put it quite plain and simple, this movie bored me, and I don't really care about it.

But, I'm true to my word, so this review is going to get written -at a really slow pace, because I'm doing so much stuff at the same time, but written it will be.

Well, well, well.

Phenomena - also know as Creepers in the United States.
Italia
1985

Directed by Dario Argento,

starring Jennifer Connelly, Daria Nicolodi and Donald Pleasance,

Now I realise that probably nothing could top how much fun was Tenebrae. But the fact that halfway through the movie, I was chatting with friends - yeah, I watched the movie on my computer - indicates pretty much how I felt about the thing

Ok, it wasn't that bad. It's the story of Jennifer - yeah, the girl's called Jennifer, guess they didn't find a name - which is the daughter of a big movie star. She has to stay at a school for girls while her dad is shooting or something, I don't quite remember, and it doesn't matter. She loves insect, she sleepwalks and most importantly she can communicate with insects. That's cool.

The film opening was quite cool too, with the theme, composed by "ohgodallmighty" Goblin. But it was a huge dissapointment to see that it was the only badass theme composed by Goblin and the rest of the time, Argento went for Iron Maiden and Motorhead. It's nice, but not as badass, for sure. You get to see the first murder, and a nice waterfall and flying scissors and its all quite eery, and kinda of nice to watch. Actually the first half was fun. With the entomologist and his absolutely fun and crazy chimpanzee assistant. No kidding.

The first half is fun but my excitement fell flat the moment that we didn't see the monkey and the professor anymore and that Jennifer went on her solo quest for the killer. I didn't even care about the killer, all I wanted to see was more insect communication and stuff like that. The scenes at the school were ok, especially this one, because of that Chinese girl and her t-shirt but really, nothing more.

Ok, seriously. THANK GOD FOR THE EIGHTIES. Having Barry Gibb - I wikipedied that, I'm not a Bee Gees fan - face, on your tshirt is, I got to admit, really cool. And the line that goes with that picture was absolutely ridiculous, making me whisper a "oh christ" of desperation.
And with no relation whatsoever, it made me want to watch a good old kaiju flick.

Ok, don't ask why.

The ending got me really bored as I said before, with a twist ending with zero impact and some long scenes, rather unscary. The movie had however a better backstory to offer than Tenebrae, but nothing extraordinay.

The movie offered cool scenes of decapitation, and gruesome insects/maggots related stuff. Great impact, gross and appropriate. Especially a scene towards the very end - the climax was nice, I've got to admit - which was very gross and graphic. What made me like the movie was little details here and there, like the monkey or the Bee Gees t-shirt, so all in all, this movie was nothing fantastic, not really, and I'll probably never watch it again. At least now, when people talk about the downfall of Argento's, I know what the're talking about.

I'm going to finish this right here, I have better things to do than write about a rather ordinary movie. And for my two and a half readers out there somewhere that wonder what I'm going to review next, well I have no idea. I've just watched three movies with friends, perpetuating the tradition of watching terribly bad movies - trust me. when I mean bad, its's bad - except for Evil Dead II which was totally awesome. But I won't review it either so...next review will probably be next week. Take care 'till them, and don't hesitate to leave a comment. Posters as always.

Here you have the french poster, which I thought was really great visually talking, but what the fuck with the red eye ? Anyway...the poster feels like a dream and I think its really great.

And at the right, the U.S. edition of the poster, which is cool too but what's with the tagline. She uses like ONE fly in the whole movie. And we don't see a single grasshopper, if that is what it looks like it is...but anyway.

Tenebrae

I have this thing with what people call "horror classics". You know like, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Thing, Nightmare on Elm Street, Hellraiser, etc, (actually, since Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Thing were - respectively - a HUGE letdown - I know, I should like The Thing, but sorry, while it wasn't bad, it didn't feel that good either.) I always get to those movies with no expectation whatsoever and a slight fear that its going to suck hard.

I hope this huge sentence made sense.

Well, I've got to admit...Tenebrae...

DID NOT SUCK.

Oh no, it was actually pretty fun. As fun as an 80's giallo movie can get, I'm pretty sure.

Tenebre*

Italia

1982

Directed by Dario Argento,

starring Anthony Franciosa, John Saxon and Daria Nicolodi, whoever they are.

*- or Tenebrae, depending on who you talk to, which poster or vhs copy you own, etc. But according to the movie itself, its Tenebrae. But not according to the dvd cover so, whatever.

That was a fun movie. The movie, while actually being italian, was all shot in english to increase the chances of successful international exportation. But the accents were absolutely hilarious and some actors had their voice dubbed over since they didn't talk english, which made it like watching a good Hong-Kong movie...except its set in Roma.

The film is about Peter Neal, an american writer, in Roma to promote his new book Tenebrae. He then gets involved in this murder affair where the murderer is inspired by his book and stuff, and you meet this whole cast of characters which transpire the 80's and all. Not original you'll say, but who gives a fuck, it's a giallo!! Its not supposed to be original!! So yeah, the story was rather cheap. Complex, with a lot of twists and turns, but cheap all over. Probably just an excuse to stage some of the best murder sequences I've ever seen on screen, and show some amazing camera sequences too. Both the editing and the camera work was great.

So with the murders. Nice editing, sexy gals, and blood. Personally, its all I expected and I got it. Great murder sequences, not much shown but still had a great impact.

The lighting and sets was also a big deal in this movie. A lot of white, bright lights. So when the red hits, it hits harder. A great creative choice. As I said earlier, this movie featured a lot of innovative editing, which I hope is a recurring thing in Argento's movies, because I really loved it.

The movie itself sure had some flaws, pretty big ones, but the good and the fun overshadowed the bad and the cheap. It was pretty funny sometimes too.

I mean, there's a scene where a girl is chased by this crazy-ass dog, that litteraly does backflips on walls! No kidding! What dog can jump that high? Its crazy. And then, after that crazy chase, she magically ends up at the killer's house..I mean, what are the odds?? Its not like Roma is one neighborhood big...? Anyway. Those details just made the experience better, adding a comedic level which I'm sure is not supposed to be there but that you love anyway. Like watching Hawaii Five-O, or something like it.

That's the crazy dog I'm talking about. He's like Spider-Dog for christ's sake.


And I've got to admit. I got scared twice in the movie. Which happens rarely when I'm watching an horror film. Graphic horror and gore don't scare me at all, and the only time I recall getting scared a lot was while watching [Rec°] at Fantasia this year - please, for the sake of that awesome movie, boycott the american remake.

The end twist was rather cheap and I saw it coming, but it didn't ruin anything since the last scenes were really fun to watch.

And finally. What made the movie so great : The MUSIC. WAS. AMAZING. BEYOND. WORDS.


I never like a soundtrack that much. All the music was composed by the legendary italian prog-synth-rock band Goblin, and now I understand why they rock so hard. The main theme is nothing less than the original version of the now-remixed-by-Justice song Phantom which is just amazing. The music was just so great, I can begin to explain how much I liked it. It was like old-school techno, a lot, if not only synthetizers and amazing beats. From now on, I'm just going to hunt each and every movie (Dawn of the Dead - really?!? - Suspiria, Deep Red, Phenomena - which I have right here on my pile of things to watch - and more.) they've made a soundtrack for, because it rocked hard.

Now, I just absolutely hate myself for missing the Maurizio Guarini show while he was in Montreal. Damn.

So yup, great movie, great fun. And amazing music. I want that soundtrack.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVHtTs6oG4Y
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OG3PAYif_Pg&feature=related just so you see what I'm talking about. Man I love this so much.

So that's it folks. I'm maybe out of my mind for loving this movie like I did, but...I did anyway.

I'm maybe going to watch the Big Lebowski today. Maybe post a review later this week....or another Argento...Phenomena maybe.

Anyway.